were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
