Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize