Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
