Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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