I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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