nut hugger
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
