We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
