i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
do nipples grow back?
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