my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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