Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
