in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
