And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
