i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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