Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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