My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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