For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
