Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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