So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
