He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
