Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
