Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What a dumb baby whore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
