Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
