we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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