Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
