wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
