I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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