How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
