the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize