the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
