the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize