Don't you send me to vm
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I forget how to act sober
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
