There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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