i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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