My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
