Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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