apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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