yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize