Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I supernannyed him into submission
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
