Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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