He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize