I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
