I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
