Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Two words: blizzard sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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