Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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