Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Pooping to opera.
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