Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize