I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
