I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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