Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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