so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
