I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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