Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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