Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
