Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
