You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
