She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
